Under a definition developed by the Department of Defense, domestic abuse involves a range of different acts by an abuser directed against a person of the opposite sex who is a current or former spouse of the abuser, a person with whom the abuser shares a child in common, or a current or former intimate partner of the abuser with whom the abuser shares or has shared a home. Domestic abuse can happen in any couple. It includes the use, attempted use, or threatened use of force or violence against the victim, like threatening to hurt or kill the victim, or actually using some kind of physical force against the victim, like hitting, punching, kicking, shoving, or sexually assaulting the victim.

But domestic abuse also includes things that are not physical acts of violence. It can also include emotional or psychological abuse, economic abuse, or isolating the victim from friends and family. Chronic abusers usually try to maintain physical and emotional control over the victim. Abusers might control where the victim goes and who the victim spends time with; blame the victim for the abuse or threaten suicide if the victim leaves; exploit the victim's concern for his or her children by threatening to harm or hide the children, making false reports of child abuse, or starting legal proceedings to remove the children from the victim's custody; or control all financial resources of the couple, limiting the victim's access to money, and hiding funds from the victim.

Under a definition developed by the Department of Defense, domestic abuse involves a range of different acts by an abuser directed against a person of the opposite sex who is a current or former spouse of the abuser, a person with whom the abuser shares a child in common, or a current or former intimate partner of the abuser with whom the abuser shares or has shared a home. Domestic abuse can happen in any couple. It includes the use, attempted use, or threatened use of force or violence against the victim, like threatening to hurt or kill the victim, or actually using some kind of physical force against the victim, like hitting, punching, kicking, shoving, or sexually assaulting the victim.

But domestic abuse also includes things that are not physical acts of violence. It can also include emotional or psychological abuse, economic abuse, or isolating the victim from friends and family. Chronic abusers usually try to maintain physical and emotional control over the victim. Abusers might control where the victim goes and who the victim spends time with; blame the victim for the abuse or threaten suicide if the victim leaves; exploit the victim's concern for his or her children by threatening to harm or hide the children, making false reports of child abuse, or starting legal proceedings to remove the children from the victim's custody; or control all financial resources of the couple, limiting the victim's access to money, and hiding funds from the victim.

Victims of abuse can be of any age, income level, educational background, or culture. Although there is not a checklist that a victim can go through to see if he or she is likely to get involved in an abusive relationship, there are some factors that seem to be common in the background of victims of domestic abuse. Meeting all of these factors does not mean that someone will be in an abusive relationship; it just means that person might be at greater risk. Here are some situations that many victims of abuse seem to share:

• previously in an abusive relationship
• poor living situation
• unemployed
• physical or mental disability
• recently separated or divorced
• isolated socially from family and friends
• abused as a child
• expecting a child, especially if the pregnancy is unplanned
• less than thirty years old

Abusers also seem to share some common factors in their backgrounds. Again, just because an individual has all or some of these factors in his or her background, it does not mean that he or she will be abusive in a relationship. Individuals may also not have any of these factors in their histories but still be abusive towards their partners. These are just things that may suggest that a person is more likely to choose to use violence in their intimate relationships:

• abuses alcohol or drugs
• witnessed abuse as a child
• abused former partners
• unemployed or underemployed
• abuses pets

Victims of abuse can be of any age, income level, educational background, or culture. Although there is not a checklist that a victim can go through to see if he or she is likely to get involved in an abusive relationship, there are some factors that seem to be common in the background of victims of domestic abuse. Meeting all of these factors does not mean that someone will be in an abusive relationship; it just means that person might be at greater risk. Here are some situations that many victims of abuse seem to share:

• previously in an abusive relationship
• poor living situation
• unemployed
• physical or mental disability
• recently separated or divorced
• isolated socially from family and friends
• abused as a child
• expecting a child, especially if the pregnancy is unplanned
• less than thirty years old

Abusers also seem to share some common factors in their backgrounds. Again, just because an individual has all or some of these factors in his or her background, it does not mean that he or she will be abusive in a relationship. Individuals may also not have any of these factors in their histories but still be abusive towards their partners. These are just things that may suggest that a person is more likely to choose to use violence in their intimate relationships:

• abuses alcohol or drugs
• witnessed abuse as a child
• abused former partners
• unemployed or underemployed
• abuses pets

If someone thinks he or she may be in an abusive relationship, there are a number of questions he or she should consider:

• Have patterns of abuse increased in severity or frequency?
• Has the abuser threatened or attempted to kill the victim or his or her children?
• Has the abuser threatened or attempted suicide?
• Has the abuser strangled the victim?
• Has the abuser used a weapon or threatened to use a weapon against the victim?
• Has the victim sustained serious injury in the abusive incidents?
• Have police had prior contact with the abuser regarding domestic abuse?
• Does the victim have a restraining order or order of protection against the abuser?
• Is the victim estranged, separated, or attempting to separate from the abuser?
• Has the abuser stalked the victim?
• Does the abuser exhibit obsessive behavior, extreme jealousy, or extreme dominance?
• Has the abuser abused drugs or alcohol?
• Has the abuser forced sex on the victim?

If a victim contacts the Family Advocacy Program (FAP) or a victim advocate for support and services, that FAP worker or advocate will most likely ask these kinds of questions as part of a risk assessment. The risk assessment will help the FAP worker or advocate to better understand the nature of the abuse the victim is facing. It can also help to identify the best services for the victim and the most effective treatment options for the abuser.

If someone thinks he or she may be in an abusive relationship, there are a number of questions he or she should consider:

• Have patterns of abuse increased in severity or frequency?
• Has the abuser threatened or attempted to kill the victim or his or her children?
• Has the abuser threatened or attempted suicide?
• Has the abuser strangled the victim?
• Has the abuser used a weapon or threatened to use a weapon against the victim?
• Has the victim sustained serious injury in the abusive incidents?
• Have police had prior contact with the abuser regarding domestic abuse?
• Does the victim have a restraining order or order of protection against the abuser?
• Is the victim estranged, separated, or attempting to separate from the abuser?
• Has the abuser stalked the victim?
• Does the abuser exhibit obsessive behavior, extreme jealousy, or extreme dominance?
• Has the abuser abused drugs or alcohol?
• Has the abuser forced sex on the victim?

If a victim contacts the Family Advocacy Program (FAP) or a victim advocate for support and services, that FAP worker or advocate will most likely ask these kinds of questions as part of a risk assessment. The risk assessment will help the FAP worker or advocate to better understand the nature of the abuse the victim is facing. It can also help to identify the best services for the victim and the most effective treatment options for the abuser.

FAP is a command support program for military families who are facing issues of domestic abuse. FAP works to prevent domestic abuse by educating service members and families about the issue; identify families experiencing domestic abuse; providing support services to victims of abuse; and providing treatment for abusers.

FAP staff members work with military commands, military law enforcement personnel, medical staff, Family Support Center personnel, victim advocates, and chaplains to assist families with domestic abuse issues. Civilian organizations and agencies work with the military to provide a coordinated community response to domestic abuse and to see that military families get the help they need.

FAP is responsible for seeing that victims remain safe and have access to support and advocacy services. It also ensures that offenders receive appropriate intervention services. FAP programs and services are available to service members, their spouses/intimate partners, and their children. FAP services include assessing risk, safety planning, determination of whether abuse occurred, and intervention and treatment.

When an incident is reported to FAP, an official FAP record is opened and the service member and family members are then interviewed and assessed to determine what type of help is needed. A Case Review Committee (CRC) reviews the incident and determines whether or not abuse occurred. If abuse has occurred, treatment options are recommended.

FAP is a command support program for military families who are facing issues of domestic abuse. FAP works to prevent domestic abuse by educating service members and families about the issue; identify families experiencing domestic abuse; providing support services to victims of abuse; and providing treatment for abusers.

FAP staff members work with military commands, military law enforcement personnel, medical staff, Family Support Center personnel, victim advocates, and chaplains to assist families with domestic abuse issues. Civilian organizations and agencies work with the military to provide a coordinated community response to domestic abuse and to see that military families get the help they need.

FAP is responsible for seeing that victims remain safe and have access to support and advocacy services. It also ensures that offenders receive appropriate intervention services. FAP programs and services are available to service members, their spouses/intimate partners, and their children. FAP services include assessing risk, safety planning, determination of whether abuse occurred, and intervention and treatment.

When an incident is reported to FAP, an official FAP record is opened and the service member and family members are then interviewed and assessed to determine what type of help is needed. A Case Review Committee (CRC) reviews the incident and determines whether or not abuse occurred. If abuse has occurred, treatment options are recommended.

The Family Support Centers offer counseling, educational programs, and referrals for marital/couples issues, anger management, stress management, parenting, mental health, and substance abuse. These programs and services may help prevent domestic abuse as well as decrease the risk for further abuse in a relationship.

For military families who have been identified as being in an abusive situation, the FAP provides intervention, support services, and treatment. FAP works with the Family Support Center and other organizations to provide safety planning, counseling, educational programs, and other services.

Victim advocates work with victims of domestic abuse to address their concerns and to help them access the services they might need to keep themselves and their children safe. Victim advocates are available to work with victims on most installations that support families and can provide confidential advocacy services under the restricted reporting policy. Many civilian domestic abuse programs also have victim advocacy services.

The Family Support Centers offer counseling, educational programs, and referrals for marital/couples issues, anger management, stress management, parenting, mental health, and substance abuse. These programs and services may help prevent domestic abuse as well as decrease the risk for further abuse in a relationship.

For military families who have been identified as being in an abusive situation, the FAP provides intervention, support services, and treatment. FAP works with the Family Support Center and other organizations to provide safety planning, counseling, educational programs, and other services.

Victim advocates work with victims of domestic abuse to address their concerns and to help them access the services they might need to keep themselves and their children safe. Victim advocates are available to work with victims on most installations that support families and can provide confidential advocacy services under the restricted reporting policy. Many civilian domestic abuse programs also have victim advocacy services.

Adult victims of domestic abuse have two reporting options - restricted reporting and unrestricted reporting. Restricted reporting lets a victim of domestic abuse have the option of reporting an incident of domestic abuse to a victim advocate, supervisor of a victim advocate, or health care provider and receiving victim advocacy services and medical care without starting a law enforcement investigation or having the victim's or alleged offender's commander notified. Victim advocates will work with the victims to help them understand all of their options and to help them decide whether reporting is the right option for them. Healthcare providers will provide the appropriate care and treatment, and will report the domestic abuse only to a victim advocate or his/her supervisor. A victim who receives appropriate care and treatment, and is provided an opportunity to make an informed decision about reporting to law enforcement or command and the possibility of a criminal investigation, is more likely to trust that his or her needs and safety are important to the military, and may decide to report the domestic abuse incident to the appropriate commander or law enforcement agency.

Victims of domestic abuse who want an official investigation of an incident should contact the service member's command, the FAP, or law enforcement. The incident will be fully investigated and the victim will have access to victim advocacy services and FAP clinical services. This is the unrestricted reporting option.

Adult victims of domestic abuse have two reporting options - restricted reporting and unrestricted reporting. Restricted reporting lets a victim of domestic abuse have the option of reporting an incident of domestic abuse to a victim advocate, supervisor of a victim advocate, or health care provider and receiving victim advocacy services and medical care without starting a law enforcement investigation or having the victim's or alleged offender's commander notified. Victim advocates will work with the victims to help them understand all of their options and to help them decide whether reporting is the right option for them. Healthcare providers will provide the appropriate care and treatment, and will report the domestic abuse only to a victim advocate or his/her supervisor. A victim who receives appropriate care and treatment, and is provided an opportunity to make an informed decision about reporting to law enforcement or command and the possibility of a criminal investigation, is more likely to trust that his or her needs and safety are important to the military, and may decide to report the domestic abuse incident to the appropriate commander or law enforcement agency.

Victims of domestic abuse who want an official investigation of an incident should contact the service member's command, the FAP, or law enforcement. The incident will be fully investigated and the victim will have access to victim advocacy services and FAP clinical services. This is the unrestricted reporting option.

There are some exceptions and limits to the restricted reporting option that victims of domestic abuse should understand when deciding whether that option is right for them. For example, a victim advocate or healthcare provider must report the incident to command or law enforcement when they believe it is necessary to prevent or lessen a serious or imminent threat to the health or safety of the victim or another person. If the victim advocate or health care provider believes that child abuse has also occurred in the home, he or she must report his or her concerns about the child abuse to FAP or child protective services. For more information on these exceptions, contact a victim advocate or FAP at the installation.

There are some exceptions and limits to the restricted reporting option that victims of domestic abuse should understand when deciding whether that option is right for them. For example, a victim advocate or healthcare provider must report the incident to command or law enforcement when they believe it is necessary to prevent or lessen a serious or imminent threat to the health or safety of the victim or another person. If the victim advocate or health care provider believes that child abuse has also occurred in the home, he or she must report his or her concerns about the child abuse to FAP or child protective services. For more information on these exceptions, contact a victim advocate or FAP at the installation.

FAP gets a report of domestic abuse.  FAP works to be sure that all the people who have the ability to help the family, such as the active duty member's commander, law enforcement, the medical treatment facility, or a victim advocate, are aware of the abusive situation in that family's home. All these people are then able to step in and do what they must and can do to help that couple move towards a more healthy relationship.

The active duty member's commander will focus right away on what he or she can do to help keep the victim safe. That may mean issuing a military protection order if the suspected abuser is the active duty member. The commander might also order the active duty member abuser into quarters on the installation to keep the couple separated until FAP can assess them and provide treatment. If the suspected abuser is a civilian, the commander may also choose to bar him or her from the installation.

If military law enforcement was the first agency to be contacted about the abuse, or if there is reason to believe a crime has been committed, military law enforcement will investigate the report. If the couple lives on the installation, military law enforcement will probably go to the couple's home to talk to them about the allegation of abuse. They would interview the victim and the alleged abuser separately. They might also talk to children in the home to be sure they are safe as well. If the couple lives outside of the installation, military law enforcement will notify civilian law enforcement to conduct the investigation.

FAP will follow up by asking both the victim and the alleged abuser to come in separately for an assessment to learn more about what has been happening in their relationship.

Once law enforcement has finished its investigation and FAP has completed its assessments of the family, a meeting will be held about the family. This meeting, or Case Review Committee, will involve a commander or command representative, FAP, law enforcement, and other people who might have information about the family situation. This might sound intimidating, but it is really all about gathering people together to get a clear picture of what happened and to make a plan for treatment and other services that can help the couple to have a healthier relationship in the future. This meeting is not about deciding whether or how to discipline the active duty member abuser. The active duty member's commander will make those kinds of decisions separately from the Case Review Committee meeting.

Once a treatment plan has been approved by the commander, FAP will provide treatment and support services to the family. Those services might include individual or group treatment for the abuser, counseling for the victim at his or her request, or stress management classes. Couples will never be ordered into or required to participate in couples counseling, although that option may be available upon the victim's request made independently from the abuser.

FAP will update the active duty member's commander about the abuser's progress in treatment and any changes in the family's circumstances until treatment has been completed.

FAP gets a report of domestic abuse.  FAP works to be sure that all the people who have the ability to help the family, such as the active duty member's commander, law enforcement, the medical treatment facility, or a victim advocate, are aware of the abusive situation in that family's home. All these people are then able to step in and do what they must and can do to help that couple move towards a more healthy relationship.

The active duty member's commander will focus right away on what he or she can do to help keep the victim safe. That may mean issuing a military protection order if the suspected abuser is the active duty member. The commander might also order the active duty member abuser into quarters on the installation to keep the couple separated until FAP can assess them and provide treatment. If the suspected abuser is a civilian, the commander may also choose to bar him or her from the installation.

If military law enforcement was the first agency to be contacted about the abuse, or if there is reason to believe a crime has been committed, military law enforcement will investigate the report. If the couple lives on the installation, military law enforcement will probably go to the couple's home to talk to them about the allegation of abuse. They would interview the victim and the alleged abuser separately. They might also talk to children in the home to be sure they are safe as well. If the couple lives outside of the installation, military law enforcement will notify civilian law enforcement to conduct the investigation.

FAP will follow up by asking both the victim and the alleged abuser to come in separately for an assessment to learn more about what has been happening in their relationship.

Once law enforcement has finished its investigation and FAP has completed its assessments of the family, a meeting will be held about the family. This meeting, or Case Review Committee, will involve a commander or command representative, FAP, law enforcement, and other people who might have information about the family situation. This might sound intimidating, but it is really all about gathering people together to get a clear picture of what happened and to make a plan for treatment and other services that can help the couple to have a healthier relationship in the future. This meeting is not about deciding whether or how to discipline the active duty member abuser. The active duty member's commander will make those kinds of decisions separately from the Case Review Committee meeting.

Once a treatment plan has been approved by the commander, FAP will provide treatment and support services to the family. Those services might include individual or group treatment for the abuser, counseling for the victim at his or her request, or stress management classes. Couples will never be ordered into or required to participate in couples counseling, although that option may be available upon the victim's request made independently from the abuser.

FAP will update the active duty member's commander about the abuser's progress in treatment and any changes in the family's circumstances until treatment has been completed.

One of the most important things an advocate does with a victim is safety planning. Safety plans help victims think through their situations in terms of physical and emotional safety, and provide easily accessible information on how to obtain emergency assistance, shelter, financial assistance, and childcare, and includes a checklist of items to take upon leaving. Victim advocates often write a safety plan with the victim and give the victim a copy to keep. If the victim is worried about the abuser finding the safety plan, the advocate and victim can just talk through different strategies for staying safe while in the abusive relationship or staying safe if the victim is planning on leaving the abuser.

One of the most important things an advocate does with a victim is safety planning. Safety plans help victims think through their situations in terms of physical and emotional safety, and provide easily accessible information on how to obtain emergency assistance, shelter, financial assistance, and childcare, and includes a checklist of items to take upon leaving. Victim advocates often write a safety plan with the victim and give the victim a copy to keep. If the victim is worried about the abuser finding the safety plan, the advocate and victim can just talk through different strategies for staying safe while in the abusive relationship or staying safe if the victim is planning on leaving the abuser.

A military protection order (MPO) is issued by a commander to an active duty service member to protect a victim of domestic abuse or child abuse and to control the behavior of the alleged abuser. A victim, victim advocate, installation law enforcement agency, or FAP clinician may request a commander to issue a MPO.

Among other things, a MPO may order the service member to surrender his or her government weapons custody card or may order the service member abuser to stay away from the family home if they are living on the installation. Commanders may tailor their orders to meet the specific needs of a victim.

A MPO is only enforceable while the service member is attached to the command that issued the order. When the service member is transferred to a new command, the order will no longer be valid. If the service member is being transferred to a new command, and the victim still believes that the MPO is necessary to keep him or her safe, the victim, a victim advocate, or a FAP staff member may ask the commander who issued the MPO to contact the new commander to advise him or her of the MPO and the circumstances within the family.

If an abusive service member violates the MPO, he or she can be disciplined under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Depending on a number of factors, a violation of a MPO may result in non-judicial punishment, court-martial proceedings, or other disciplinary measures.

A military protection order (MPO) is issued by a commander to an active duty service member to protect a victim of domestic abuse or child abuse and to control the behavior of the alleged abuser. A victim, victim advocate, installation law enforcement agency, or FAP clinician may request a commander to issue a MPO.

Among other things, a MPO may order the service member to surrender his or her government weapons custody card or may order the service member abuser to stay away from the family home if they are living on the installation. Commanders may tailor their orders to meet the specific needs of a victim.

A MPO is only enforceable while the service member is attached to the command that issued the order. When the service member is transferred to a new command, the order will no longer be valid. If the service member is being transferred to a new command, and the victim still believes that the MPO is necessary to keep him or her safe, the victim, a victim advocate, or a FAP staff member may ask the commander who issued the MPO to contact the new commander to advise him or her of the MPO and the circumstances within the family.

If an abusive service member violates the MPO, he or she can be disciplined under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Depending on a number of factors, a violation of a MPO may result in non-judicial punishment, court-martial proceedings, or other disciplinary measures.